The day after Christmas

*written from my ipad which means more typing mistakes.

So, I have officially lost all the baby weight and can wear my skinny... pants (since they're cords).  I am proud of that, not that I was trying.  Silly to be proud of something I didn't really have anything to do with.  But hey.

Also, my boy is doing great.  Feeling better, with the help of meds and special formula.  My husband and I are doing great.  I am learning more about him and attain to be a better and better wife to him.

More kids?  Maybe.  In a while.  I am beginning to have a heart for adoption again.  Right after I had my boy, it was hard to consider loving another persons child, but I feel God's love for adoption more and more and am feeling drawn again.

Its been interesting to see my son's personality come out.  He is becoming more and more fun as he is becoming more interactive.  I think he may be as stubborn as my husband and me.  But sweeter than either of us too.

I am craving deep conversation, like I had so much of in college.  Not that I don't love talking about my kid, I do, but can we please talk about theology, politics, and relationship more?  Tell me, where does religion fit into your life?  What do you think of societies tendencies toward tolerance, but not respectful disagreement?  How do you think Obama's presidency will affect international policy?  What do you think of the disintegration of the family unit, and what do you think can/should be done?

Am I brave enough to share my opinions?  Sometimes, but honestly weather I'm in the Middle East or the US, I don't always feel I have the freedom to do so in just any medium.  What do you think?  Do you feel free to voice your opinion (respectfully, as all my friends naturally would) in any medium?

Moving on, I am reading a book called For Women Only, and I highly recommend it.  I am learning how to respect my husband in ways that translate to him.  Awesome book.  By the way, it's our five year anniversary on the 5th.  Five years married to my sexy man!  Best story ever is how we met.  Hmm, to tell or not to tell...

We met in Egypt.  I was standing on a bridge over the Nile. He was on the other side.  We saw each other.  Our eyes met.  True love?  We felt drawn toward each other.  We started running toward each other in slow motion.  Just kidding!  But we did meet in Egypt.

I went on a couple dates with this guy one summer.  At the end of the summer, my best friend at the time called and told me she was planning to go do an internship in Egypt the next year.  I needed to get an internship in as well since I was in the same major as her, so I asked if she would be okay with it if I applied too.  At some point, I learned the guy's sister was planning to visit her mom's orphanage in Cairo the next summer.  I thought it would be such a neat opportunity to go help out at the orphanage for a week or so when the internship was done, especially since my grandmother knew the family and respected their work there.  So I planned my departure back for the states a few weeks after the end of the internship.  Helping with the orphanage fell through (the rumor I heard was that the sister didn't like me).  My husband, however, was working in Cairo and he knew people in my program.  Groups of us would get coffee and watch movies.  My husband thought I was cute, and really respected my views.  I respected him, and I knew he shared my love of cultures and wanted to live over seas.  My husband had been praying for God to give him an opportunity to get to know me more, but wasn't sure that was possible since most of the people from my internship were leaving at the end of May.  God was gracious and used those extra few weeks I had planned in months before.  We got engaged soon after that, and are now happily married with our first little one.  God is good.

I would love to have more followers on my blog, but I would probably need to be les scatterbrained in my writing and also more consistent.  Maybe that will happen soon.

My husband says he checks my blog and I haven't posted in a very long time. :-)

Ah, my first post strikes me as still very true.  I am still very boring.  :-)

When I get to the end of my life, I want to look back and say I've proud of my life.  Part of me wants to make money and contribute financially to the home so I can feel more valuable.  However, since God has chosen to bless us with enough and making money has never been my husband and my goal, I want my contribution in life (for now) to be something I am talented in and is a contribution to others weather it makes money or not.  I wish I could say that if it doesn't make money I will still feel as valuable, but somewhere deep inside, I feel like I have less value if I'm not making money.  I don't want to feel that way.

It is a very awkward time to be thinking about what I want to do with my life.  Or what I want to do with my time right now.  According to doctors orders I am to rest with my feet up for most of the day until the baby is born (although she did say I can go out a couple times a week as long as it is not for long).  And once the baby is born?  Well now, I'm sure I'll have lots of time to put a plan in action with a new born... sigh.

One thing I've noticed is that there are a few amazing people contributing and helping others where they are gifted where ever they are in life.  There is one friend who has contributed to my life in the past few weeks in ways I have not been surprised by, but incredibly blessed by.  I feel ridiculous asking for help just because the doctor has ordered rest, but this friend helped me to feel less ridiculous has made me two meals and visited me a couple times.  The way she contributes to others lives, not just mine, is a real inspiration to me.

I don't want to be a person who talks big does little.  I don't want to be a person who spends more time on myself and my world than on others and their world.  I don't want to be a person who seeks to have a big savings account, the stylish clothes, comfortable furniture, nice bedding sets, a beautiful guest room, every baby item I think I might need, all the books I can read, all the movies I can watch, and go on as many vacations as I can.  Being honest, I want these things, but I don't want them to be or seem to others to be my goals in life.

When people judge me (I would be a fool if I didn't recognize this reality in the world- I just don't want to make others opinions more important than the opinions that matters), what do they see?  Someone who thinks a lot of them self?  Or someone who has more important motivation in their life.  It's not the words that make that differential.  It's not what I say I should do that shows if I really care about contributing.  It's actually doing, and I don't feel like I'm doing all I can do right now, that is for sure.

But what should I actually be doing?  What do I do with this time I am "resting"?  When I have a new born, how can I still contribute then?  I'm not looking for advise.  I have lots of ideas, but I want to find the right fit for me.  I also do not want to take away time from the baby that I should not be giving away.  I know I will have to look for the right balance.

Alright.  I haven't actually told you any of my ideas.  Let me think a bit more, and we will see if I share next time.  Who knows when that will be.  

Realistic and positive

On an introspective and hypothetical note...  Have you ever sat though someone giving you advise in a very patronizing voice, and then they look at you over their glasses and say, "right?"  You know that if you answer in any other manner than the affirmative you are going to get it (a horrible look, another lecture, or you will be ignored when they find out you didn't take their "advice").  Isn't that annoying!  Even if some of what they are saying is not off base, but the tone of voice and what they say seems to mock you in your situation.  You just want to say, "Give me a break.  You might be right, but when you tell me your opinion like that... uh..."  But what you really say is, "That's interesting.  Huh."  Not to mention you NEVER go to them to talk about your day again!

An example that I have experienced over the years is my tendency to be more of an Eeyore than a Tigger (if all the world was Winnie the Pooh).  But ya know, I've never heard anyone say, "I think Eeyore should be more like Tigger."  No, most people enjoy different characters because that is what makes the story interesting and down right cute.  I will succeed that more people buy the Tigger stuffed animals than Eeyore stuffed animals, but that doesn't mean we should all be Tiggers.  

One caveat... I think I enjoy life a lot more than Eeyore, but I don't think any friend of mine would deny that I am right in saying I'm a more Eeyore character than a Tigger.  But allow me to smile and say, yeah, I might be more of an Eeyore, but I'll try to be the best friend I can as an Eeyore and try not to let my personality be an excuse to do wrong.

Oh, I'm so in the mom zone.  Tigger and Eeyore!!  ha ha.  :-)

There is so much more going on right now other than expecting baby.  Christmas, New Years, my husband's and my fourth anniversary, a good friend going through a tough time, meeting lots of fun new people, being apart of two mom's groups, cooking with my crock pot (that I love!!!), my husband is on a new schedule at work (not so fun), and more stuff I guess (I'm tired)....  That being said, the most humerus is being in my third trimester of pregnancy.  

People say I look small (maybe so), but the scale at the doctor's office says I've gained plenty and the fact that the waist on my maternity jeans is tight proves it.  I bought a pair of mom-ish maternity pants last week.  They are so comfy, but these are so ugly!  I wore them already and (sheepish look) I'm probably going to wear them again.  :-/  Have I digressed into mom jeans (they aren't jeans, but you get it)?  I desperately hope it's only a temporary slip.  I'm not the most stylish person to begin with, I'm not sure I can afford to go too much more down hill in the fashion department.  Well, they say your priorities change (and that's not altogether a bad thing), but I can hope, can't I, to keep a little style in my wardrobe?

I do love how helpful people are at the grocery store.  They see this pregnant lady trying to reach down into the back of the cart to put on the food items on the conveyor belt and some take pity.  Thank you for those of you who take pity on the pregnant.  Yet, as grateful as I am for help now, I am sure to be even more grateful when I have that little bitty baby with me.  

What they say about it being difficult to sleep in the third trimester is true (at least for me).  But I do believe it is also true that I am getting just as much sleep if not more than I will be getting in a few months.  So, I suppose this is prep time.  There is more to it.  I miss sleeping on my stomach, I have a old shoulder injury that bothers me since I have to sleep side, my hips hurt some nights, and so do my knees... even to the extent that I cannot sleep and must get up.  I sleep part of the night in my easy chair so I don't have to be on my side the whole night.  It helps some.  I got a massage at a spa the other day after waking up early in so much pain that I could not even sit in a chair, I had to stand for the pain to dissipate some (along with taking a couple reg. strength Tylenol).  None of this really bothers me though.  It's annoying, I'll tell you if you ask that I didn't sleep well (don't expect my answer to change), but I am so excited for my little one that I try to keep the big picture in mind.  I just hope I can keep the big picture in mind when baby is here and there are different struggles.  If having a baby is like marriage than it will be a blessing but more difficult than I can ever imagine now.

Take care my readers.  Can't you just wait for my book?  :-)  (Hey, I saw you roll your eyes :-)